I figured it all out.

All righty, friends.

Dear Mom, Dad, and C,

Okay. Three main things: Tausch, Roberto, and my conclusions about missionary work.

People we visited this week:

-the Bs.

-TS, an old woman who is less active because she's handicapped in some form. She's so sweet.

-J and S. They found out that they're moving back to the States, to Atlanta.

-Schwester G. She came to church yesterday! She and M. 

-EB (I was on Tausch in Tübingen, actually.)

-EW---an older woman, American. She's in our ward. SUPER sweet. I really, really needed that appointment. She said so many brilliant things that I just needed to hear. 

-EH---Brazilian, less active. We went with the elders. It was a lot of fun. :)

-Familie H plus R.

Okay. I'll start with R. He's the COOLEST. Oh my goodness.  First, we do an English class for one of our service activities. Right now, R is the only one that comes, but we're going to make it really big. We went to the Familie H with him and taught the Plan of Salvation. It was really funny. JH (who is 12) TOTALLY has a crush on him. It was so funny to watch. And he was so good and so chill and cool for her and for J2, who is three. SO CUTE. The lesson went extremely well, and he said he took a lot from it. The Spirit was really strong.

R passed the Sacrament for the first time yesterday. It was so cool to watch.

Okay. Item number 2—Tausch—which will lead into item number 3.

So, we tausched Wednesday-Thursday. It was very, very interesting. I actually went down to Tübingen with Sister Pentz, and Sister Erdenetsogt came up here with Sister Angeloudis. Afterwards, we talked about it a lot because we wanted to learn as much as we could from it so we could improve our work. We wrote down the good things that we learned, then we set goals for what WE needed to improve on in ourselves and our work.  It was raining that night, and so we just sat on the windowsill looking out to the street and talked for a while. It was really, really good. Came to conclusions.

This is what I finally think I figured out. I was thinking about my companions. I had Sister Gilmour, and we did a lot of  missionary work trying to be normal around people, and how a lot of healing went on but not a lot of actual teaching. There was less focus on Preach My Gospel. Immediately afterwards, I had Sister Arnold, who was very driven and focused on our purpose and Preach My Gospel, and and we used numbers the most effectively I've ever used them on my mission.

And I think understand the balance now. A lot of my time with Sister Gilmour---and all the time leading up to it---helped me understand myself, my own personal strengths and how I can use them to bless others' lives. The way I see missionary work now---the way I understood it finally, sitting on that windowsill---is this:  we have Preach My Gospel, we have the scriptures, the white handbook, and key indicators---all these things that the Apostles gave to us so that we can measure, be effective, and do it how the Lord wants us to bring the gospel to people. This is all like a framework. Scaffolding. These are our boundaries, our frames, how we work. But there NEEDS to be filling. A sidewalk cannot be created without cement. And what goes into that frame, that scaffolding, that filling, that is where we are individual. It is really HOW we connect with people. It is HOW we use our talents and abilities to connect and love and serve the people we are working with.  It is so important that we connect with them, that we help them. We use those talents and gifts and the things that make up US, ourselves, our backgrounds and experiences, which are all so different, which are all so special. And we plug all of those in to helping others---teaching and working as Preach My Gospel teaches us to, but plugging all of our talents and gifts through it so WE become the best missionaries and best people we can be.   We change because we are doing things the way the Apostles have directed, which comes from the Lord, AND we are being ourselves—not just "Elder" and "Sister," but that I am being Sister Winters. We NEED the scaffolding, otherwise the cement---the filling---has no form, and it doesn't go anywhere. It doesn't become what it needs to be. But on the other hand, the scaffolding alone is absolutely NOT enough. It doesn't work. Only, solely, focusing on achieving the numbers fills the quota, it gets the frame, but it is so dry. It has no meaning. There is no point if there is no filling.

I needed my companions, every single one of them. And I'm seeing more and more that each one is just a preparation for something further down the road. Sister Scoggin set me on my feet and was POWERFUL. She's incredible. I love her SO MUCH. Ever so much. I needed her to be my trainer. There were things in my companionship with Sister Jencks that prepared me so much better for things that would come later. Through all of this, I was figuring myself out—-who Elizabeth Jill Winters is and what talents I can use as a missionary to bless the lives of others. I learned to be confident in those talents, and my time with Sister Gilmour was a lot of that. We were OURSELVES so that we could connect better with people. We accomplished a whole lot of good and a whole lot of connecting and a whole lot of healing. And I understood myself so much better. Me. Who I am. What strengths I have. What beauty I can bring into the world. I needed Sister Arnold to focus me back onto my purpose---to teach and help others receive this gospel with the end goals of baptism, temple, and eternal life. And now with Sister Angeloudis, we're hitting the balance. Figuring out ourselves. Our strengths. 

I wondered for a long time why I was sent here. I'm 20 years old. I'm a girl who has been a member my entire life, born and raised in Utah County and never moved outside until I came on a mission. And I am supposed to tell people about God and how much He loves them, and that this little blue book will change their lives and improve them and pull them out of the deepest pits and darkest places in the world. My life has been really, really good. I've had challenges, which for me were difficult. But in comparison with others' challenges, they were pretty minimal. But the thing I think I've seen is that I am ME because of all the experiences I've had. The person that makes up Elizabeth Jill Winters comes from my relationships, my background, my story, and my story alone. I can't be someone else's story. This is ME. I am a 20-year-old woman, a daughter of God who is a missionary to tell these people here in Stuttgart right now that the gospel has been restored. And I'm here to help people see that they are special. Each of us is a child of God, with our own story. Background. History. And no two of us are the same. 

I was listening to President Uchtdorf's talk, "Four Titles" in German, and I LOVED this part: 

"But while the Atonement is meant to help us all become more like Christ, it is not meant to make us all the same. Sometimes we confuse differences in personality with sin. We can even make the mistake of thinking that because someone is different from us, it must mean they are not pleasing to God. This line of thinking leads some to believe that the Church wants to create every member from a single mold—that each one should look, feel, think, and behave like every other. This would contradict the genius of God, who created every man different from his brother, every son different from his father. Even identical twins are not identical in their personalities and spiritual identities.

"As disciples of Jesus Christ, we are united in our testimony of the restored gospel and our commitment to keep God’s commandments. But we are diverse in our cultural, social, and political preferences.

"The Church thrives when we take advantage of this diversity and encourage each other to develop and use our talents to lift and strengthen our fellow disciples."

The thing is, God wants us to be different. We aren't the same person for a REASON.  We have spiritual gifts—and we all have different ones---that all may be profited thereby. It goes completely against the plan of God that we should all be the same. And so, of course, we have different stories, and of course we have different backgrounds and experiences and gifts.  We are in places right now; God has led us to where we are at this very moment BECAUSE of everything we've been through. Every single part of us culminates to this moment, and how are you going to use it? We are in places where we can be a blessing to others, so use it. YOU are who you are and in the situation you are in because that's where God needs you to be. 

And now applying that to missionary work. We as missionaries weren't just called here to be all the same—the same kind of person, the exact same kind of missionary. We have guidelines and rules, which are our frame, our scaffolding. But the relationships that I create are going to be different than the ones that Sister Angeloudis creates, because that is an individual thing, and we each function differently. We're different people. The way we show our love as missionaries is going to be unique to every single person. We have to plug all of those parts of ourselves to help others through Preach My Gospel and our calling as missionaries, and CONNECT and help and bless and care and lift and it is absolutely incredible.

There's a balance. The two things work together---the numbers, the structure, and Preach My Gospel, along with loving and serving and connecting with people. I hope I can improve that because I can see how incredibly effective it will be.

That's all. ;) I love you all SO MUCH. I hope you have a wonderful week!!!

Love,

Sister Beth Jill Winters